How many times have you wanted to do something or been told to do something and thought to yourself, “lol. no shot”? I can’t count the times I have. At least twice in the past 24 hours. One was when I knew I had to get up early and be functional and social for a good 12 hours after getting only 5 hours of sleep the night before. The second was last night when Katie texted me, “I think we should do sober October – one post a day until podcast day.” (SUPRISE: our first podcast together will be recorded on Halloween – a significant date in our lives for a reason that doesn’t include monsters and candy.) My first thought was, “Whew. I just started this and I still have no idea what I’m doing. You think I’m ready for 31 posts? No shot.” but my reply was that’s “let’s do it.”
I am no stranger to self doubt. I doubt myself often, and I know that’s relatable to many others also because I see it way too often from people I know and love.
Someone else who was familiar with self doubt is Abraham’s wife, Sarah. In Genesis 17 God tells Abraham that he will have a child with Sarah. Abraham was 100 years old at this point, and Sarah was 90 – So Abraham laughed and questioned God. Sarah overheard the conversation & also laughed about it – thinking “no shot” I am too old to have a child. Sarah and Abraham both believed they were too old to give birth, but God said they would have Isaac. (& they did) I imagine God was pretty taken back when they laughed at God’s promise about her bearing a child. He asked why they laughed at him. “Is anything too hard? For the Lord?” Sarah denied it saying she didn’t laugh & God said, “No, but you did laugh.”
Anyone feeling convicted yet? I am. 2 times in the last 24 hours and hundreds of times before have I thought “no shot.” Little seeds of doubt planted by Satan himself telling me, “Kristen. Be real, there’s no way you can do that.” I thought I wouldn’t have a good time yesterday, but I went; and it ended up being such a great day. By the grace of God, I actually felt pretty good throughout the whole day – which is not usual for me when I don’t get enough sleep the night before. Had I listened to those little voices from Satan, I would’ve missed out on quality time with people I love and some pretty amazing views.
Had I made up some excuse of why I couldn’t commit to 31 days of sharing Jesus, Satan would’ve won. Had I listened to all those little seeds of doubt he tried to plant in my mind, “but you’re gonna have to work, and you’re gonna be tired, what if your computer crashes again, is this something you really want to start your journey in ministry with – making a commitment and not following through with it?” If I hadn’t believed in myself and what I am capable of with God by my side, for a split second, I would be missing the opportunity to grow in this brand new journey of my life.
Sarah thought Jesus did not see her doubt him and laugh. But He saw it. He sees us doubt ourselves on a daily basis, and He is taken back by it. Because if Jesus lives in us and we don’t think we are capable, He says, “Is anything too hard? For the Lord?”
The answer is no. If you don’t think you are capable of something, ask yourself – “Is God?” and then ask yourself, “Who lives in me?” “Who’s breath do I breathe?” Don’t forget who you are or whose you are. God defeated the devil once, and every time you disregard those little seeds of self doubt, He does it again.
So I am making a commitment to 31 days with you guys, and I am excited. Because I know on the days I don’t feel capable or driven enough, God will intervene because nothing is too hard for Him – & He lives in me.