“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

These are the words I read at the end of a letter I got in the mail from the leader of my recent Emmaus walk.

Ten minutes before that I was expressing the anger I have for the season God has placed me in – despite all I have to be thankful for.

(yes – I am throwing a fit, and it is not pretty; but I pour into my ministry by being real, not by being a perfect Christian. feelings should be felt but make it matter.)

I showered and talked to God the whole time. “this is frustrating. why would you put me in all these places to be frustrated? i want to accomplish nothing”

Being faithful and following God’s instruction for you life – even when it makes absolutely zero sense for you – is hard. I did that, and it paid off. I was in awe of how that thing He told me to do worked out for me.

Until it didn’t.

I took a leap of faith again and it seemed good, but today was hard & i felt so defeated and hopeless.

I am hurting. I am angry. I am confused.

But then, reading that scripture, I am humbled by those 4 words, “I will strengthen you” that found me in a puddle of tears just by opening a piece of mail I had no idea contained a letter that I needed in that moment.

“I will strengthen you.”

If you read the “April Showers” blog, you know the ever so famous line by Andy Manning that he gave me around the time of my last mental breakdown.

It’s just growing pains, baby”.

I use that one a lot these days.

When Mason asked me to talk to him about how I was feeling, I gave a spill and followed it up with that. “It’s just growing pains.” That concluded my ramble, and I asked him to hand me the mail we got today because I was looking for a letter my sister just asked me if I got today – and i didn’t get the one I was looking for, but i did get the one I needed.

That’s was not by chance.

That was by God.

God gives us the nuggets we need when we aren’t asking for them, and aren’t looking for them either.

Growing hurts, but strength is acquired by growth.

God says He will strengthen you. He doesn’t say it will be fun, or that it won’t be – just that it will be.

Letting go of control is not easy. Growing up is not easy. Deciding what’s worth it & what’s not is not fun. Getting to do those things with people who love you & wish good for you make life more bearable. Stepping into faith and meeting people who impact your life is worth it. Making someone smile when you don’t feel like it, makes you feel good.

All of these are ingredients of growth. Growing pains God is using to strengthen you.